Relationship problems usually arise from issues with communication. This is in particular more difficult for people with BPD who find expressing their emotions impossible.

You may find frustrating no matter how hard you try to communicate to the people around you – family, partners, friends, carers and colleagues, no one seems to understand you. Similarly, you may also misunderstand others’ responses and actions. Therefore, some may think you have distorted what they have said and this can lead to interpersonal conflicts.

This can be extremely frustrating for all involved, you may become defensive and arguing over something that is misunderstood.

VALERIE PORR – Heightened sensitivity in social interactions

To communicate more effectively, it is important that you and those around you have:

  1. Insight into your feelings and experiences
  2. A general stated understanding of trust
  3. A common vocabularly

Although miscommunication can harm relationships, through patience, learning and support, you can improve your communication skills and relationships through professional intervention and treatment. In addition, it may be useful for both you and loved ones to attend therapy to work on regular issues  so that you all have a common vocabulary.

ZANARINI – Ineffective use of language

Click through to the following page to improving relationships:

Being a parent with BPD

For more information

Very Well – How BPD affects communication

DBT Self Help – Interpersonal effectiveness

Healthy Place – Three ways to have a healthy communication

ReachOut – Communication skills

Sunrise – Interpersonal effectiveness: The roots of a healthy relationship


Very Well – How BPD affects communication